I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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