i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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