before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
cat food counts as protein by the way
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
