so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
