This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
