People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize