I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
