sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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