I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
