I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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