Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just had sex on a roof
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
