fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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