Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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