Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
