3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
