there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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