fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize