i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
