it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
