Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
