I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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