He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
