mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
