is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
