We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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