so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
