Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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