I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
