Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
