no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
