Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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