About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
