I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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