Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
