tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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