Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
