awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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