I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize