Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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