I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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