You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
