I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
