My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
