Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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