Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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