i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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