i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
