you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
