Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
