Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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