Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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