im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize