I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
