dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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