put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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