Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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