between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
