The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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