I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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