oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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