have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
