Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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