you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
