actually, I'm a sock model
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
