Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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